Think back to the this past winter Olympics…a time when Canada experienced a swell of patriotism. Wasn’t it great? I love Canada. It is not perfect…but the more I travel and read, I appreciate this beautiful country.
My brother and sister-in-law live in the United States. Our nieces and nephew have dual citizenship…but I thought of them as more Canadian until the Olympics came along. You can imagine our surprise when brother-in-law informed us their children wanted the the U.S. to defeat Canada and win gold in men’s hockey.
“Must be a bad connection J…it sounded like you just said the kids are cheering for the U.S. (hahaha) What’s that? Oh…you’re not kidding…I see.”
So I sent them a ridiculous email…just ‘cause I love them and I was bored. I came across the draft recently and thought I would post a modified version since it is Canada Day in a few days…and ‘cause I’m low on writing topics.
Dear J & T,
Out of concern for the welfare of our beloved nieces and nephew I would like to propose that during your next annual visit to Ottawa, we enrol the kiddies in an intensive crash Canadian Ed. program.
Some course options could include…
Ode to the Maple – Tree tapping, boiling, trudging through Sugar Maple forests and 24 hours intravenous hydration of pure 100% Maple syrup.
The Dialect – Learn the correct intonation and application of “eh” and please…it is Zed not Zee.
Composting/Recycling 101 Grow beautiful gardens and lawns despite a municipal pesticide ban. If time permits…how to chase green bins and blue bins down windy/icy roads and resolve the 6:45am weekly curb side debate “Paper or plastic?”
Tim Hortons Toughen up skin sensitivity and hold a cup of coffee without a “sleeve”. Master the optimistic experience of rolling up the rim and learn what it means to want a “regular” every day. Earn extra marks for greening it up – bring your own eco-friendly coffee cups.
Canadian Music Appreciation – Convincingly mouth the words to Oh Canada in English & French. Study the chorus to The Good ‘ol Hockey Game and fill the gaps with hand claps and whoops. Learn the real lyrics to I’se the B’y and Canadian Railroad Trilogy. Crash course on how to air guitar to Tom Sawyer.
We need to act quickly. Canadian patriotism is difficult to retrieve once a person finds “aboot” and igloo/dog sled jokes amusing. Please let us know if you are still coming so we can make arrangements.
Would you believe they didn’t visit us this spring? Something to do with a sudden illness…very strange.
Happy 143th Canada! Hope everyone has a safe, fun and relaxing Canada Day.